Drinking Poison

Nope. Not a suicide attempt. I am talking about unforgiveness. Which, could actually become a long-term suicide. Someone told me once that bitterness was like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. That is such a powerful example of how useless the fight is, to hold something against another person. It does not destroy them. It destroys us. It is very difficult to come to terms with the fact that we can never really satisfy that deep need to get even with someone we feel may have wronged us. So, the question becomes, "Where do I take my 'quest for vengeance'?"

There just is no where else to take our cries to, but to the lord.  There is an inexplicable yoke that comes with bitterness. It is a burden that can't be bore except upon the nails of the cross. In other words, the sins against me were already paid for by Jesus. Just as, my sins against Christ were also already paid for. That is a very simplistic answer to a very complex problem. I get that. But, eventually, it does boil down to the basic ingredient of love. How I go from point A (which is my anger) to point B (which is letting it go) I am not sure how that works except....one day at a time.

I posted a song here, that could be viewed as a rather bitter break up tune. But, in some ways, it could be viewed as healing too. I see this as an adult woman, who has learned the hard way, how to play all grown up games.  In some ways, I think she is singing this song, not just to the person she was hurt by, but to the innocent child that she once was. This is only obvious in the video though. There is a real powerful place in the video where she is singing to a younger version of herself. I wonder what I would say to myself if I could push a rewind button and go back a few years? Would I believe myself when self says, "Don't go there! *** is gonna leave you for the first thing that walks by. Just keep on truckin. Ain't nothin real bout that thing you think your feelin."