Saturday, January 7, 2012

As the deer pants for the waterbrooks...........


"When your dog loves you because it is dinner time, you are not sure of him; but when somebody else tempts him with a bone and he will not leave you, though just now struck him, then you feel that he is truly attached to you. When we may learn from dogs that true affection is not dependent upon what it is just now receiving."
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I started seriously meditating on this quote and came to some conclusions. One sure way that the Lord knows that we love Him with our whole heart, is not by being exempt of temptation. On the contrary, it is when the devil throws the one thing we desire most in our lap, and Jesus says "No" and we choose to follow Him even when it is painful to do so. I look into the darkness of my soul and I don't see that I love Jesus this way.  But oh, to have a heart ablaze with this kind of love. Oh, to have such a passionate longing as to be betrothed to only one love. Oh, to possess such undivided affections as to yearn only to step inside the bridegrooms chamber. This heart would set the very heavens on fire. It's burning incense would supplicate the friendship of God, however who can stand before Him? For He is a fiercely jealous lover. All these thoughts haunt me as I look into the depravity of my heart.

Psalms 42:1 As the hart pants after the water brooks, so pants my soul after You, O God.  
Psalms 42:2 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?

I like how the Message Bible words that second verse:
I'm thirsty for God-alive. I wonder, "Will I ever make it- arrive and drink in God's presence?"

I can relate to some of John Donne's words:
"Batter my heart, three-personed God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend   
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.


Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy:   
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again" 

Donne is crying for God to change him and divorce him from His enemy. Amen.

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