Well, at the end of this month I will be 1 year free of co-dependant relationships! That is good news! I have not been free sense jr highschool......I refuse to tell my age, but that is a long time! I have had a couple of set backs, got mad at God, and struggled through parts of this past year. But, in all honesty, I have never really been this free, for this long, in my life. Even though it has been a tough year, I still feel chains falling off of me with each day I move forward. There is a part of me that is really afraid to announce this. I still look over my shoulder and ask myself, "Is this really happening?" I am still not as strong as I wish to be, but I am also not in the same place of weakness that I used to be. I am moving forward. My goal right now is to address a couple more of my addictions like food and sugar. Eventually, I want to be baptized (again) in the church that I have been attending for over a yr now. I have already been baptized, but there is something about that public declaration that did not have the same meaning to me that it now carries. I see the cross through a different set of eyes. I see glimpses of Jesus that I have never identified with until now. I still have mountains to climb, but I am learning that this is one step at a time. One day at a time. One moment at a time.
congratulations tammy! i know this has been a really tough year for you, but it sounds like you're exactly where you're supposed to be. growth is always painful. i wish that were not true. but you're pressing forward despite the pain and that puts you in a very rare category. i hope you continue to give yourself the credit you deserve and that he pain will give way to joy.
ReplyDeletepeace little sister.
Thanks Terri. You are right. Growth is always painful, but I am finding beauty in the pain that I have never been able to see before. I still mummer now and then (as it would not be me if I did not throw in some pessimism). Surely, you will hear me complain again, at some point. But, overall, it has been the most wonderful year of my life. I actually mean that, despite the obstacles. God has really been so good to me.
Delete