Now, about my sarcasm. I would have to have NO pulse to cut that out, so........I am in recovery....not dead. With that being said, I must tell one of my ridiculous stories. I am taking an astronomy class this semester. Yeah. I know. Astronomy? Right? Why am I doing something this ludicrous? To avoid biology. Duh! Why else would I be taking a retarded class like this? Who even knew this was an actual science that anyone took seriously? Really?
Anyway.........back to degrees in astronomy. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Oh, a cast member on Star Trek. I have a degree in astronomy. I wanna be one of those hairy monstrosities with 3 heads, half a nose with a clothespin ripped through the mamed nostril, one werewolf shaped ear, and a partridge in a pear tree growing out my rear that plays jingle bells (also in Spanish) when I walk."
Who gets a degree in astronomy? Really? Well, obviously somebody does because our college has "2", yes, that is "2" certified Doctors of Astronomy. I brought that up for a reason. Our class is on Thursday nights and this past Thursday we stood out in the cold mind you, while "2", yes that's "2" professors with doctorates tried to focus "4", yes that's "4", high powered telescopes on Jupiter. And one was triple the size of a civil war cannon. This process took "2", yes that's "2" hours (not to set up..to find the dang planet) ........meanwhile back at the ranch..........Frankie, who has an app on her smart phone that projects virtual real-time space by satellite, is walking around in the dark showing the rest of the lethargic, complaining class where Jupiter was because neither professor could focus the telescope. Is it just me or does anyone else find it a little odd that 2 professors, 4 telescopes and a smart phone is required to find a planet? It almost requires a pollock joke.
The real praying is going to begin next semester when the professor retires and we have a real instructor and we all need part two to graduate. That is when we will all become religious quickly and start chanting, invoking catholic voodoo, throwing around holy water, praying to Jesus, Mary, Job, Aristotle, Buddha, Elvis......and whoever else will listen. As it stands now we are all cheating on the exams........(ahem) I mean group study. I hope God does not consider cheating to be a sin. I wonder how many hail Mary's that is gonna cost because I seriously am not considering changing. Anyway, this is not one of the 10 commandments.........or is it? I forgot what they are, but I am pretty sure it did not make God's top 10 so it must not be too important.
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